Maggi – The greatest invention of 21st century

To whomsoever it may concern:

I hereby declare that the objective of this post is to prove that Maggi is the greatest invention of 21st century.

Without wasting anytime I directly jump to the 10 Points to Support my theory:

Since we always need a benchmark to compare with and say “best”, I will use Nuclear Weapons now as my benchmark  –

1. Cost Effectiveness –
Maggi: In times of economic recession, Rs. 10 is the cost for a Maggi Meal. 10. That’s 1/5  One USD to fill your empty stomach. Name one thing that comes to close to this?
Nuke: Never bought, don’t think I can ever buy too and even if I am able to one day never will buy too. Can’t do anything with it. (Implicit assumption here is that I marry a multi-billionaire’s daughter)

Score: Maggi +1/Nuke 0

2. Reduce Starvation –
Maggi: In an age of man-eat-man, in a world where millions of people die of starvation, Maggi has single-handedly rescued millions of people, mostly students and young corporates, from the jaws of death. It has rescued the future of India.
Nuke: Silence.

Score: Maggi +2/Nuke 0

3. World Peace –
Maggi: By plainly being itself, Maggi by it’s wonderful taste has brought people from different countries together and appreciate it’s taste. Thus adding to World Peace
Nuke: Hiroshima. Nagasaki. Need I say more? I will. Iran. Pakistan. South Korea. US. World Peace is at stake plainly because of Nuke.

Score: Maggi +3/Nuke 0

4. Pollution –
Maggi: Cooking Maggi leaves no residue. It uses very little plastic and we are told to re-cycle it too. It’s small and lightweight and we don’t have to go by any vehicle when we go to buy it. Clean.
Nuke: Well well well… where should I start? The waste that is generated after Nukes are used? The waste that is generated while Nukes are being made? The fuel & planes used to transport them? You get the point right!

Score: Maggi +4/Nuke 0

5. Education-

Maggi: Maggi is one of those things I never studied in school. Never had to mug up how to make it, though it is pretty simple. “Real World” stuff. No student ever cribbed that how to make Maggi is difficult to learn. Student Friendly I say!
Nuke: God save those flow charts and long answer questions from 7th class to 12th class and god forbid, if you took some chemistry later on, then too. Tsk tsk.

Score: Maggi +5/Nuke 0

6. Self Respect –

Maggi: When someone says can you cook? Maggi, we say, with great pride. It has installed a spirit of independence which we would have otherwise lacked. Sheer Pride.
Nuke: Can’t really think of self respect when it comes to nuke.

Score: Maggi +6/Nuke 0

7. Reduces Tension-
Maggi: Exam Time. No idea what to study and hungry stomachs. What comes to the rescue? Yes, ladies & gentlemen, Maggi it is. Tension free, truly instant. No need to worry about how much masala to add in it, how much water to add etc.
Nuke: World tension is on a high thanks to these missiles.

Score: Maggi +7/Nuke 0

8. Time Saving –

Maggi: How much time does it take to make maggi? 2 Mins. Nothing more. Nothing less. The name says it all – 2 Minute Noodles
Nuke: God knows how much time. Design. Develop. Review. Phew. Clearly a loser here.

Score: Maggi +8/Nuke 0

9. Equality –

Maggi:  All the people on the plant can make it exactly the same. No one can make it any better, none any worse. All are equal in front of a packet of Maggi.
Nuke: US Nukes are better than Russian better than Chinese better than India better than Iranian better than South Korean better than Paki and so on… so much inequality. It hurts.

Score: Maggi +9/Nuke 0

10. Friendship – Save the best for the last

Maggi:  Great friendships happen over Maggi. In one movie, Rocket Singh, a guy falls for a girl due to Maggi. Truly, anything can happen over a cup of Maggi.
Nuke: Duh. Silence please.

Score: Maggi +10/Nuke 0

So, all in all, Maggi wins it hands down.

The result of this is not to insult Nukes in any way but to show that anything in comparission with Maggi is useless. Amen. Hail Maggi.

P.S. If you disagree with any of the above points, I pity the people around you for bearing with a person devoid of any sense of humor. Also, don’t try to pick any mistakes. You will rot in hell if so.

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11 comments

  1. Sai G · February 25, 2010

    What an erudite analysis! Great work. Agree on all points esp. #2! Saving the future of India! LOL! true!

    • Kalyan Ram Vempati · February 25, 2010

      Thanks mate… was about to die of hunger until Maggi came and saved my life 😀

  2. Canyon · February 25, 2010

    Original!

  3. John Nryen · February 28, 2010

    After reading you site, Your site is very useful for me .I bookmarked your site!

  4. sangeeta · March 14, 2010

    Hiii Kalyan,

    Me and sm of my frnds hv started an E magazine called Reader’s Quotient, It is totally for a noble cause of funding children education , I came across ur blog in my quest to search talented writers and felt worth to inquire if u shall be willing to come along with us,

    If yes pls contact us at sangeeta.goswami@readersquotient.com

    waiting for ur revert
    regds Sangeeta
    http://www.readersquotient.com

  5. Nivi Vempati · April 16, 2010

    everytime i eat maggi..i am reminded of you 🙂 you make the best maggi..gurtunda? neenu, vandu college ninchi vacchaka..you sometimes used to make it for us…yummmm!!
    your one and only skill 😀 but a good one to have all the same……

    • Kalyan Ram Vempati · April 16, 2010

      I also make the best tea and lemonade! one & only skill kathe – In my defense, 2 yrs of job and they not yet kicking me out does mean that I have skills! duh.

      anyway – those were awesome days. will come to Chicago to make maggi for u, just get me the tickets 😀

  6. Nayan · May 30, 2010

    Rather interesting blog to pay attention to at least for me. By the way, why haven’t you you submit this article to social bookmarks? This should bring a lot of traffic to this blog.

  7. Kaveri · June 17, 2010

    Truly good site to pay attention to as for me. By the way, why don’t you place this article to social bookmarking sites? This should bring a lot of traffic to this page.

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