Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris Facts started sometime in 2005 but least did the ppl who created it know that Hon. Rajni & Hon. Balayya have been doing such things for over a decade in the Indian Film Industry, South Indian to be specific. Seriously, some of those facts are so similar to Balayya &  Rajni stunts that we can easily pass them off as “Balayya Facts”. So, here’s a compilation of the ones that made my tummy blast!

Before you read, here are a few premises – you MUST know that Chuck Norris is Superhuman and his ONLY weapon is Roundhouse Kick. He doesn’t have any other weapon, not because he could not but plainly coz doesn’t need.

Chuck Norris starring in "1"

1. It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
2. Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. He says they taste like chicken.
3. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
4. If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
5. When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
6. 182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
7. The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
8. There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris….Hehehe…  Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
9. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
10. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
11. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.
12. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
13. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
14. Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
15. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
16. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
17. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
18. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
19. Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out
20. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
21. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
22. Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
23. Chuck Norris is responsible for China’s over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
24. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
25. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don’t really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
26. The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
27. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.
28. Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
29. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
30. It’s widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris’ stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris’ skin.
31. Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
32. The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”
33. Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
34. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
35. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

All Facts Courtesy – www.chucknorrisfacts.com